fairyherder: drama (JL 50 62)
(金凌, Jīn Líng - 金如兰, Jīn Rúlán) ([personal profile] fairyherder) wrote in [personal profile] rootstalks 2020-08-14 01:11 pm (UTC)

[ he would want to get some sleep too, but he's still too jittery, still nervous and feeling inadequate and careful with his own actions. he's not used to keeping an eye on his conduct in this way, and at the back of his mind, the thought is probably a good thing, the restraint. it's something he's still working on, in all aspects of his life.

he doesn't dare meet her eyes until she reaches out to undo his hair, and he looks up, eyes wide, a little too stunned to move or pull away. the thought that it's a servant's job doesn't cross his mind at all. as soon as he'd mastered the intricate ponytail and woven in beads, he'd stubbornly refused anyone else doing it for him, to the point where he wouldn't let anyone see him with his hair down, not even his Jiujiu. it's born out of the need to keep his facade up, the tightly wound control he's trying to not let slip through his fingers in front of power hungry Jin officials ready to jump at any show of weakness and exploit it for their own gain.

he feels vulnerable like this, without the control of the tresses kept back, away from his face, but... it's also comforting, his mothers hand gentle in a way he's not used to. it takes a moment before he finds his voice again to reply, words caught in his throat. ]


...ah... I... from before I can remember. I had them before I got Fairy.

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